Ants in my Smartipants

So one day I was eating crackers and after I had eaten about 1/4 of the sleeve I noticed a small black thing on my cracker. Upon closer inspection I noticed that it was an ant. I then inspected the entire sleeve more closely and noticed that it was swarming with ants, ants on which I had been happily munching! That, my dear friends, is how there came to be ants in my smartipants!!

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Times one point one-five
(a tribute to the calculator speech)

Oh calculator speech, where would the world be without you..

1. We would never know how much the company was losing because of me
2. We would never know how many bottles we have to sell to break even
3. We would never know that certain people can't do math in their head
4. We would never know that the best way to calculate tax is to multiply something by 1.15 instead of using the preprogrammed tax button
5. We would be bored to tears when hearing the financial information of our places of employment

The world would not be the same without you Calculator speech!!!

Now if I can only master you and use you on experience plus!!!


  • At 4:05 PM, Blogger Punchy said…

    as a former accountant i greatly appreciate the humour of the calculator speech

  • At 2:13 PM, Anonymous larn said…

    i heart the calculator speech...I only hope u passed it on the new employees!

  • At 7:41 PM, Blogger Kristen D said…

    I will do calculator speeches with you as soon as I get a calculator
    That's a big investment

  • At 2:38 PM, Anonymous The Fonz said…

    You need to post more often, and get an LJ which is clearly superior.


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